Today was one of those days. You know the ones where nothing seems right and you aren't really sure you can go on... but not going on isn't a real option? Where you just want to cry and throw in the towel? Where you wonder if you are doing anything right? And you worry that you will never get it right? Where you get so deep in to your own little pity party that you can't see straight? Where you don't remember the good things and optimism and reality are obsolete?
Sometimes, I am reminded that it's OK to just not be strong for a while. Not a long while, just long enough to catch your breath and muster the determination to go on. Being brave and strong takes courage, heck life takes courage and sometimes that courage gets so hard to carry. Sometimes life throws you that one more thing that makes you need to stop, and feel the heart ache, feel the pain, feel the exhaustion, feel the frustration... to just feel what ever it is you need right now. Sometimes we can break down and jump right back in the game.... other times we need a little help.
Today someone did just that. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.
Thing is it will be alright... and I know that. But... sometimes life can get overwhelming and more little drama's and crisis can happen in a day than I can bear. And then, I need to stop. I need to cry. I need to say "Hey! This isn't fair!! I can't do this anymore!"
Because the stopping gives me time to feel and to truly listen, the crying clears some space, and then I am able to remember how truly blessed I am, that it is never as bad as it seems, and finally... I remember that I am strong, and I am brave and I can go on...
When you stop trying to be so strong for a little while you can hear hope, and hope is what gives the strength you need to carry on.