Wednesday, September 12, 2012

On Mommyhood

I have always wanted to be a Mom. I always knew that it was my calling. I do love being a mother more than anything, but honestly, it hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be. I never though about  the constant of it, the worry or the doubt.

About 5 years ago I made some comment on Facebook about how these kids of mine were making me crazy. I got a response from a man I used to work with before I had kids, he was also a  friend of my Dads. It made such an impact on me I wrote it down on a piece of scratch paper and have kept it ever since.

This is Mr. Mecham's comment to me....

"You'll miss these days... really. Well maybe not the days, but the stages that the kids are going through. I know you don't think so now but someday you'll miss helping with homework, soccer games, Halloween costumes and cutting the crust off of  PB&J's. Someday those years will just be photos on the wall and you'll wonder how it all happened so fast. Hug them twice as much today. Soon they'll be gone."

Every time I read it I get a little misty eyed. Just because it is so true. Ever since the day I read that beautifully written Facebook comment I have tried to stop and enjoy right where I am. No I don't always. But I make sure everyday to try.

Thing is, right now for me it is all happening too fast. My babies are growing up, and it does seem like yesterday they were the ones with the cute, loud,  little voices every one could hear through out the grocery store. I'm not sure how it happened but now I'm the lady telling the frazzled mom to enjoy that cuteness.

I want to tell her not to blink because too soon he will be this big, tall, hairy man, and you'll love this stage because he will start to hold the door for you, he will still make you laugh, only in a more grown up way and when you look at him you will see that sweet little boy he was but also see what a fine man he will be someday. And she will still be so cute you want to eat her up, but you will start asking her what shoes you should wear with your outfits, she will show you little glimpses of who she will become, and  it will make you proud, because you worked so hard to make her kind and strong, and respectful, and you will see that it is worth it. But you will also yearn for a chubby little hand in yours and wish you could go back to the days of Thomas the Tank Engine and pink plastic sparkly shoes. When a kiss and a hug made everything better and you could keep them safe with you.

That you will miss the days when none of you showered or got dressed and you will want someone to proudly give you a giant finger painting to hang on your wall.

And you will wish you knew back then that it's not worth the fight to get everyone smiling perfectly at the camera because you will still remember that day the same anyway.  

I know now I will miss these days right now too; the same way I miss being pregnant, miss nursing my very own little miracle in the dark, peaceful house in the middle of the night, miss sippy cups of milk, and tiny laundry to fold. I know now I will wish I had asked her one more time to tell us she was fowa (four) and wish I had had him say aculish (actually) one more time... because now I know how much I would miss those little voices. The way I  miss how they once both fit so perfectly in my lap for a story and how I wish I had seen the beauty in laying on the bed listening to them learn to read, wishing I had seen it as a privilege.

I know I will miss these days too.. and wish they hadn't gone by so darned fast. That I will look back wishing I had payed more attention, and simply relished in the fact that this is where I get to be right now.

As I have grown as a mother I have realized it will never get easy, but I have also realized I don't want easy, not really. Yes there are days I want to pull the covers back over my head and come out when life doesn't seem so exhausting. But I now know, I'd be missing some of the best years of my life, and some of the most important years of theirs. The hard times, the doubt and the worry are just a small piece of mommyhood.

The other pieces are what matters, like how in awe I still am that God trusted me with these amazing people. Or the times when I KNOW I am doing it right. The times when they show me these wonderfully kind people I am working so hard to raise. Being a mom has made me a better person, a more humble, more honest, more real person. It has also made me get to know myself so much better, I think that's what happens when you wear your heart outside of yourself.

I have a lot of mommying ahead of me, and there will be times when I wonder if we will ever make it through. But I also know I will look back on this time, right now with my kids and miss it. I know I will want this stage in our lives back too. I know I need to enjoy every moment I can, and to consciously make moments, both big and small,  that my children and I will look back on with joy.

I'm going to hug those kids three times as much today... because I know now too... soon they will be gone and these days will be missed.

Re posting for Fried Okra's Parent hood link up! There are some great posts about parenting. Stop by and check out all of the other linker!! ~Shelby


  1. I love Mr. Mecham's comment to you. My daughter will be a sophomore in August. I find myself wondering the same thing...where did all the years go?! Happy Mother's Day to you, Shelby! I hope you have a wonderful day with your family!!

    1. Thanks Brandi! It was a great day! Hope you had a great day too!

  2. Oh MY! You DID pull out a beautiful post from your past! Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. Being a mom of still pretty young kids myself, I do sometimes find myself wishing for a FF button to get out of the sticky-everything, helpless phase, but reading your "The way I miss how they once both fit so perfectly in my lap for a story," line reminds me that this is a very sweet, easy time for us and I should be reveling in it as much as possible! Thank you for linking up to The Parent 'Hood. You are just what I needed this morning. xo

    1. Thanks Megan! It is hard to not wish the days away sometimes, but it does go by too fast! And every stage has its ups and downs. I am so excited about this link up! Thanks so much! See you next week!

  3. This is so good. And so stinkin' TRUE! I'm sure you've heard the saying: The days are long but the years are short. That about sums it up for me. So often, I need that reminder to savor the here and now. It doesn't make the spilled milk magically disappear or the bickering suddenly stop. But it helps my attitude and my heart.

    Beautiful post, Shelby. Thanks for linking up at The Parent 'Hood.

    1. Thank you Kelly! And thank you so much for this link up!I will be back again and again and am loving reading all the other posts! It was actually so good for me to re read this post... I too need that reminder more often than I'd like!! See you next week!

  4. Oh Shelby -- how these words sound so familar! I have said them to friends, written them in my journal and lived them in my heart! Its all so true! You are amazing and wonderful - such a heart for your kids and family!!

    I had a very dear friend tell me many times when mine were little to savor the time, embrace every moment - much like you write about - and I was so thankful because there were times I could have not and her words rang in my ear - so I sat longer - player longer, sang another song or read another book - not always but more often than I think I would have. And now, when other moments are a bit more fleating - I can think back and know I did the best I could. And now, I do the same - I take the moments to be with them - I take their cues - and I have learned to grow with them and accept how they are changing. I try so hard to practice what I "preach" to them and have fun with them and not let the stress of life get me distracted! Because I know when they are gone living their adult life - I will miss them!

    Being a Momma is the the best and hardest thing I do!

    Thank you for sharing this today! I loved reading it!

    P.s. sorry this got so long :)

  5. What a beautiful post. Your words bring a tear to my eye because that is exactly how i feel, too. I know it is cliched but in a blink of an eye they grow up.

    Thank you for such a great post. x


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